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Meet the After Divorce Support Team

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Nick Meima M.S, Founder/Owner

Nick Meima M.S. has extensive personal and academic experience helping individuals work through challenging times. Nick is a graduate of the Rebuilding Seminar and is available to work with individuals, couples, and groups struggling through the end of a relationship. Nick is 17 years into his second marriage and has four adult children, including two stepchildren. Nick also designs and officiates ceremonies designed to help individuals and families heal through the challenges of relationship endings.

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Tara Welles, R.N., Coach

Tara Welles, R.N. has a broad background in assisting clients with personal issues. She was divorced for 8 years before her second marriage. Tara has training in many disciplines including Nursing, Nutritional Health Counseling and Spiritual/Psychological Counseling. She has years of experience in coaching, teaching and counseling. She has two children and two stepchildren and has been involved in facilitating a chapter with Step Family Association of America.

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Denver, CO 80210

Phone: 720-524-3664

DIVORCE SUPPORT RECENT POSTS

starting over after divorce

What should I focus on when starting over after divorce?

November 07, 20245 min read

Divorce is never easy.  When you end a relationship you thought would last forever, the heartbreaks take over you all. 

Then there is a struggle, self-doubt, conflicting thoughts, and many emotions spiraling in your mind. But if you pay a little attention, you can come out of all the rifts and not feel rejected after a divorce. 

Just know that it might feel like an end, but it is a call for another beginning. 

We get it you need to hold on to the hope right now. This is what we will be talking about in this article.  

Top 7 Tips on Starting Over After Divorce

Wondering what you need to start over?

Yes, it can be intimidating, but if you shift your focus to what’s important now, you can turn over your misery to a new star. 

Here are a few tips to get started now!

  • Let yourself feel

It is a natural response that you don’t want to feel and you beg for the feeling to shut down immediately so that you don’t feel the pain anymore. But you will heal better in the long run by letting yourself feel.

Your emotional experiences are valid and distinctively yours. There is no correct or incorrect way to feel. People universally mourn the loss of their dreams - they could've, would've, and should've.

Allow yourself some space to express your emotions.

  • Change Your Relationship to Money

We're not talking about your budget or fiscal health here, but rather WHY you're spending and what you're spending it on. Your spending habits, particularly after a divorce trauma, might be one of the most telling markers of your emotional health.

Consider this: do some of your greatest credit card transactions happen when you're down? What about those late-night Amazon impulse purchases that resulted in delivery regrets two days later? Were you making close friends with loneliness that evening? 

Was it just hanging out with you? Spending money like that is bad for you; in fact, it will only lead to emotional and mental health decrease rather than emotional recovery.

  • Manage Your Social Life Better

Rethinking one's social life after divorce necessitates a deliberate evaluation of existing relationships as well as the formation of new connections that are appropriate for one's changed circumstances and personal growth. During this time of change, friends after divorce can provide support and company.

It is critical to examine shared friends and determine whether these ties can be maintained or if some space is required. Furthermore, lifetime companions can provide a sense of security and familiarity, acting as a crucial support system. However, it is critical to acknowledge that certain friendships may shift or dissolve as a result of the divorce. 

Couples' friends who were largely involved with the prior spouse may also need to be reassessed. While these friendships can be maintained, it is critical that they do not serve as a continual reminder of the past or elicit unpleasant emotions. Instead, making new friends who share similar interests and values can give you a fresh start and a sense of belonging. 

  • Don’t Fuel Negative Emotions

Anger emotion is inevitable. It is normal for you to feel it. However, don’t let these emotions stay longer. mediate, exercise, or try different ways to deal with these emotions. You can practice a few things here. 

Avoid following your ex-partner on social media, for example. Watching them go about their lives, seemingly untouched by the relationship's breakdown, would further feed your anger or sorrow.

You cannot change the past, but you can influence your future. Exposing yourself to images of your ex may enhance feelings of regret.

Dwelling on what went wrong or the circumstances that led to your divorce will only keep you caught in a negative mindset that will hinder your healing, instead focus on acceptance. 

  • Write down your feelings 

Most divorcees avoid expressing their emotions to others. It would be beneficial to write down your distressing feelings. Keeping track of your recovery progress can assist you in overcoming your divorce.

Writing out your sentiments is a terrific way to let go of tension and irritation, and reading it back helps you remember how strong you are to go through all of this and work on yourself. 

  • Go for support groups for divorce

Meeting people going through similar experiences will not pass any judgments. Join a group like Rebuilders Group where you can express your emotions with people who are going through similar experiences. It can be comforting to know that you are not alone.

It will offer you a sense of purpose, and every time you share your emotions with them or listen to their opinions, you will feel more connected to them.

  • Forgive so you can move forward

Some people might tell you to forgive and forget. You only need to follow the forgiveness part.

However, forgiving does not imply forgetting what happened or condoning any crime. 

It just acknowledges that the past has occurred and helps you to go on with a positive attitude in life. When we work on forgiveness, we may heal the wounds and find peace in our hearts.

Practicing mindfulness might be beneficial as a form of self-care during this process. It is critical to set aside time for oneself in order to provide your mind and body with the necessary rest. 

Bottom Line

Lastly, learning how to cope with the grief of separation and divorce can be overwhelming. It is possible, however, to develop resilience and start a new life full of joy and purpose. 

You can begin to make peace with your past and look ahead to the future by practicing forgiveness and receiving support from loved ones, particularly family members.

If you feel like stuck in the same negative cycle, we at Rebuilders can help you. 

We know how it feels and our facilitators are well aware of the process. You can choose the sessions of your choice and let’s improve the beginning of a new life all together with experts and people who understand you well.


starting over after divorce
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Nick Meima

Expert Divorce Coach, Divorce Recovery Group Facilitator

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